Difficult Mother’s Day Ahead?



Mother’s Day means many different things for all of us.  It may conjure up images of young children bringing home cute cards they made at school, or posies of garden flowers or even traditional family lunches with 3 or 4 generations present.

However Mother’s Day may also evoke more ambivalent images.  The day can bring up difficult feelings for a lot of us and can include such feelings as:

  • memories of a mother who has passed away
  • an increasing awareness of an unsatisfactory relationship we have with our mother
  • a difficult relationship we have with our mother in law, step daughter or daughter in law
  • difficulties in becoming a mother
  • mourning the loss of a baby or child
  • grieving the inability to become a mother
  • mourning the realisation of not becoming a grandmother


Loss


The common experience running through all these situations is loss.  The loss of a life and the profound impact it can have on us. Or the realisation that a relationship is not one we would wish for or choose.  Or the loss of a hope or dream.

It’s important to acknowledge the complex affect this has had on us so that in time we are able to grieve and accept it.  We need to give ourselves the time and space to mourn the loss and give it the respect and attention it deserves. 

I recommend a book about loss: Griefworks and of course, the national organisation Cruse offers specialised bereavement counselling.

It can help to know that we are not alone.  That Mother’s Day can be bittersweet for many of us.

Amongst the laughter and celebrations around Mother’s Day we may also experience poignant moments and tears.  When it feels difficult be kind to yourself, and remember that this is understandable and ok.