Mother’s Day can mean many different things to each individual. It may conjure up images of young children bringing home cute cards that they made at school, posies of garden flowers or even traditional family lunches with three or four generations present.
However, Mother’s Day can also evoke more ambivalent images, bringing up difficult feelings for a lot of us. These feelings can be brought about by any of the following issues:
- An increasing awareness of an unsatisfactory relationship we have with our mother
- Melancholic memories of a mother who has passed away
- A difficult relationship with our mother-in-law, stepmother, stepdaughter, daughter-in-law or granddaughter
- The challenges of becoming a mother
- Mourning the loss of a baby or child
- Grieving the inability to become a mother
- Mourning the realisation of not becoming a grandmother
The common theme running through all of these situations is loss – the loss of a life and the profound impact it can have on us, the realisation that a relationship is not one we would wish for or choose, or the loss of a hope, dream or fantasy.
How To Come To Terms With Loss
In order to move on from these losses we first need to accept them. This involves acknowledging the complex effect they have had on us. We can then allow ourselves the time and space to mourn our loss and give it the respect and attention it deserves. This reflection will allow us to move on in a more accepting and positive way in the future.