Mother’s Day means many different things. It may conjure up images of young children bringing home cute cards they made at school, or posies of garden flowers or even traditional family lunches with 3 or 4 generations present.
However Mother’s Day may also evoke more ambivalent images. The day can bring up difficult feelings for a lot of us and can include such feelings as:
- memories of a mother who has passed away
- an increasing awareness of an unsatisfactory relationship we may have with our mother
- a difficult relationship we may have with our mother in law, step daughter, daughter in law or grand daughter
- difficulties in becoming a mother
- mourning the loss of a baby or child
- grieving the inability to become a mother
- mourning the realisation of not becoming a grandmother
The common experience running through all these situations is loss. The loss of a life and the profound impact it can have on us. Or the realisation that a relationship is not one we would wish for or choose. Or the loss of a hope or dream.
It is important to acknowledge the complex affect this has had on us. We need to give ourselves the time and space to mourn the loss and give it the respect and attention it deserves.
It can help to know that we are not alone. That Mother’s Day can be bittersweet for many of us.
Amongst the laughter and celebrations around Mother’s Day we may also experience poignant moments and tears. When it feels difficult hold on to the fact that this is understandable and ok.