Transitions

We all have times in our lives when circumstances change:

  • redundancy
  • break up of a relationship
  • new job
  • career change
  • parenthood
  • new relationship
  • leaving home
  • starting university

Either we choose the transition or it happens to us out of our control.

Any transition is the beginning of a process of change. It involves the ending of one phase and the beginning of another. This transition from an ending to a beginning can be experienced in a myriad of ways.

However, every ending brings loss with it.

For a difficult ending to become more healthy it is worth spending time grieving the loss of it. As hard as it is this includes accepting that this part of our life (or person) has gone forever. At the same time as we experience the loss, we may also experience feelings of uncertainty which can be very unsettling.

If we have no idea of our next phase then life can be a lot more tricky. But if we know what is happening next we can make plans and start to prepare ourselves for it.

It is not always easy to keep calm and positive. Somehow we need to keep the faith that things will shift at some point and our way will become more clear to us. This can be the hardest part of a transition. (I’ve written a previous blog post on being in the “not knowing”.)

Also if we are brave enough we can try to learn from this loss e.g. at the end of a relationship it is worth looking at our part in what didn’t work in the relationship. This will help us become more aware of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours so that we can take this new awareness into our next relationship and relate more easily with our new partner.

Once we have genuinely experienced the ending we are able to embrace the new beginning and realise that there is a new, albeit different way forward.